「教授與學生」是一個在網上流傳已久的故事，基督教版本出處不詳，其中文版本於華文基督教圈子更是傳載不斷，被視為護教材料，香港某大學裡甚至有宗教組織公然以之傳福音。然而，在英文世界裡，原來早已有一編反駁上述基督教版本的「教授與學生」故事流傳，不過卻從未被翻譯成中文，在中港台網上基督教圈子裡都不見蹤影，造成輿論呈一面倒的局面。為平衡言論，本人將兩個不同版本的「教授與學生」故事一併刊登，箇中是非曲直，由各位評論。
以下的是流傳已久的版本，通稱「基督教版本」，又稱「學生勝利版」。
中譯：
「信耶穌不合科學。」一個哲學教授上課時說。他頓了一頓，叫了一個新生站起來，說：「某某同學，你是基督徒嗎？」
「老師，我是。」
「那麼你一定信上帝了？」
「當然。」
「那上帝是不是善的？」
「當然。上帝是善的。」
「是不是上帝是全能的？祂無所不能，對嗎？」
「對。」
「你呢？你是善是惡？」
「聖經說我有罪。」
教授撇撇嘴笑：「哈，聖經。」頓了一頓，說：「如果班上有同學病了，你有能力醫治他，你會醫治他嗎？起碼試一試？」
「會。」
「那麼你便是善的了．．．」
「我不敢這麼說。」
「怎麼不敢？你見別人有難，便去幫助．．．我們大部分人都會這樣，只有上帝不幫忙。」
一片沉默。
「上帝不幫忙。對嗎？我的弟弟是基督徒，他患了癌症，懇求耶穌醫治，可是他死了。上帝是善的嗎？你怎麼解釋？」
沒有回答。
老教授同情他了，說：「你無法解釋。對吧？」 他拿起桌子上的杯，喝一口水，讓學生有機會喘一口氣。這是欲擒先縱之計策。 「我們再重新來討論。上帝是善的嗎？」
「呃．．．，是。」
「魔鬼是善是惡？」
「是惡。」
「那怎麼有魔鬼呢？」
學生不知道怎麼回答。「是．．．是．．．上帝造的。」
「對，魔鬼是上帝造的。對嗎？」老教授用瘦骨嶙峋的手梳梳稀薄的頭髮，對傻笑著的全體同學說： 「各位同學，相信這學期的哲學課很有興趣。」 回過頭來，又對站著的那同學說： 「世界可有惡的存在？」
「有。」
「世界充滿了惡。對吧？是不是世上所有一切，都是上帝造的？」
「是。」
「那麼惡是誰造的？」
沒有回答。
「世界有不道德的事嗎？有仇恨、醜陋等等一切的惡嗎？」
該學生顯得坐立不安，勉強回答：「有。」
「這些惡是怎麼來的？」
沒有答案。
忽然老教授提高聲調說：「你說，是誰造的？你說啊！誰造的？」他把臉湊到該學生面前，用輕而穩定的聲音說：「上帝造了這一切的惡。對吧？」
沒有回答。
該學生嘗試也直視教授，但終於垂下了眼皮。老教授忽然轉過身來，在班前踱來踱去，活像一隻老黑豹。同學們都進入被催眠狀態。
這時老教授又開腔了：「上帝造這一切的惡，而這些惡又不止息的存在，請問：上帝怎可能是善的？」教授不斷揮舞著他張開的雙手，說：「世界上充滿了仇恨、暴力、痛苦、死亡、困難、醜惡，這一切都是這位良善的上帝造的？對吧？」
沒有回答。
「世上豈不是充滿了災難？」停了一下，他又把臉湊到該新生面前，低聲說：「上帝是不是善的？」
沒有答話。
「你信耶穌基督嗎？」他再問。
該學生用顫抖的聲音說：「老師，我信。」
老教授失望地搖了搖頭，說：「根據科學，我們對周圍事物的觀察和了解，是用五官。請問這位同學，你見過耶穌沒有？」
「沒有。老師，我沒見過。」
「那麼，你聽過祂的聲音嗎？」
「我沒有聽過祂的聲音。」
「你摸過耶穌沒有？可有嚐過他？嗅過他？你有沒有用五官來感覺過上帝？」
沒有回答。
「請回答我的問題。」
「老師，我想沒有。」
「你想沒有嗎？還是實在沒有？」
「我沒有用五官來接觸過上帝。」
「可是你仍信上帝？」
「呃．．．是．．．」
老教授陰陰地笑了：「那真需要信心啊！科學上強調的，是求證，實驗，和示範等方法，根據這些方法，你的上帝是不存在的。對不對？你以為怎樣？你的上帝在哪裡？」
學生答不上來。
「請坐下。」
該同學坐下，心中有說不出的沮喪。
這時，另一個同學舉起手來，問：「老師，我可以發言嗎？」
老教授笑說：「當然可以。」
學生說：「老師，世界上有沒有熱？」
教授答：「當然有。」
「那麼，也有冷嗎？」
「也有冷。」
「老師，您錯了。冷是不存在的。」
老教授的臉僵住了。課室裡的空氣頓時凝結。
這位大膽的同學說：「熱是一種能，可以量度。我們有很熱、加熱、超熱、大熱、白熱、稍熱、不熱，卻沒有冷──當然，氣溫可以下降至零下四百五十八度，即一點熱也沒有，但這就到了極限，不能再降溫下去。冷不是一種能量。如果是，我們就可以不斷降溫，直降到超出零下四百五十八度以下，可是我們不能。『冷』只是用來形容無熱狀態的字眼。我們無法量『冷』度，我們是用溫度計。冷不是一種與熱對立的存在的能，而是一種無熱狀態。」
課室內靜得連一根針掉在地上也能聽到。
「老師，」該學生竟又問：「世上有沒有黑暗？」
「簡直是胡混。如果沒有黑暗，怎可能有黑夜？你想問甚麼．．．？」
「老師，您說世上有黑暗嗎？」
「對．．．」
「老師，那麼你又錯啦！黑暗是不存在的，它只是無光狀態。 光可分微光、亮光、強光、閃光，黑暗本身是不存在的，它只是用來描述無光狀態 的字眼。如果有黑暗，你就可以增加黑暗，或者給我一瓶黑暗。老師，你能否給我一瓶黑暗？」
教授見這小子大言不慚，滔滔不絕，不覺笑了。這學期倒真有趣。「這位同學，你到底想說甚麼呀？」
學生說：「老師，我是說，你哲學的大前提，從一開始就錯了，所以結論也錯了。」
「錯了．．．？好大的膽子！」老教授生氣了。
「老師，請聽我解釋。」全體同學竊竊私語。
「解釋．．．噫，．．．解釋．．．」教授好不容易才控制住自己，待情緒漸漸平伏後，即使個手勢，叫同學們安靜。讓該同學發言。
學生說：「老師，您剛才所說的，是二元論哩。就是說，有生，就必有死。有一個好的神，也有一個惡的神。你討論上帝時，所採用的，是一個受限制的觀點。你把上帝看作一件物質般來量度，但是科學連一個『思維』，也解釋不了。科學用電力，又用磁力，可是卻看不見電，看不見磁力，當然，對兩者也不透徹了解。把死看作和生命對立，是對死的無知。死不是可以獨立存在的。死亡不是生命的反面，而是失去了生命。」說著，他從鄰坐同學的桌子內，取出一份小報來，說：「這是我們國內最下流的一份小報，是不是有不道德這回事呢？」
「當然有不道德．．．」
「老師，你又錯了。不道德其實是缺德。是否有所謂『不公平』呢？沒有，『不公平』只是失去了公平。是否有所謂『惡』呢？」學生頓了一頓，又繼續說：「惡豈不是 失去善的狀態嗎？」 老教授氣得臉色通紅，不能說話。
該學生又說： 「老師，就是因為我們可以為善，也可以為不善，所以才有選擇的自由呢。」
教授不屑一顧： 「作為一個教授，我看重的是事實。上帝是無法觀察的。」
「老師，你信進化論嗎？」
「當然信。」
「那麼你可曾親眼觀察過進化的過程？」
教授瞪瞪該位同學。
「老師，既然沒有人觀察過進化過程，同時也不能證實所有動物都還在進化之中，那麼你們教進化論，不等於在宣傳你們的主觀信念嗎？」
「你說完了沒有？」老教授已不耐煩了。
「老師，你信上帝的道德律嗎？」
「我只信科學。」
「呀，科學！」學生說。「老師，你說的不錯，科學要求觀察，不然就不信。但你知道這大前提本身就錯誤嗎？」
「科學也會錯嗎。」
同學們全體嘩然。
待大家安靜下來後，該同學說：「老師，請恕我舉一個例子。我們班上誰看過老師的腦子？」同學們個個大笑起來。
該同學又說：「我們誰聽過老師的腦子，誰摸過、嚐過，或聞過老師的腦子？」
沒人有這種經驗。
學生說：「那麼我們能否說老師沒．．．？」
全班哄堂大笑。
原文版本：
"LET ME EXPLAIN THE problem science has with Jesus Christ." The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand. "You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"
"Yes, sir."
"So you believe in God?"
"Absolutely."
"Is God good?"
"Sure! God's good."
"Yes."
"Are you good or evil?"
"The Bible says I'm evil."
The professor grins knowingly. "Ahh! THE BIBLE!" He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here, and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help them? Would you try?"
"Yes sir, I would."
"So you're good...!"
"I wouldn't say that."
"Why not say that? You would help a sick and maimed person if you could.........in fact most of us would if we could... God doesn't."
No answer.
"He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm?
Can you answer that one?"
No answer.
The elderly man is sympathetic. "No, you can't, can you?" He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. In philosophy, you have to go easy with the new ones. "Let's start again, young man."
"Er... Yes."
"Is Satan good?"
"No."
"Where does Satan come from?"
The student falters. "From...God..."
"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he?" The elderly man runs his bony fingers through his thinning hair and turns to the smirking, student audience. "I think we're going to have a lot of fun this semester, ladies and gentlemen." He turns back to the Christian. "Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"
"Yes, sir."
"Evil's everywhere, isn't it? Did God make everything?"
"Who created evil?"
No answer.
"Is there sickness in this world? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All the terrible things - do they exist in this world?"
The student squirms on his feet. "Yes."
"Who created them?"
No answer.
The professor suddenly shouts at his student. "WHO CREATED THEM? TELL ME, PLEASE!" The professor closes in for the kill and climb into the Christian's face.
In a still small voice: "God created all evil, didn't He, son?"
No answer. The student tries to hold the steady, experienced gaze and fails. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace the front of the classroom like an aging panther. The class is mesmerized. "Tell me," he continues, "How is it that this God is good if He created all evil throughout all time?" The professor swishes his arms around to encompass the wickedness of the world. "All the hatred, the brutality, all the pain, all the torture, all the death and ugliness and all the suffering created by this good God is all over the world, isn't it, young man?"
No answer.
"Don't you see it all over the place? Huh?"
Pause. "Don't you?"
The professor leans into the student's face again and whispers, "Is God good?"
No answer.
"Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"
The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor. I do."
The old man shakes his head sadly. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen your Jesus?"
"No, sir. I've never seen Him."
"Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"
"No, sir. I have not."
"Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus...
In fact, do you have any sensory perception of your God whatsoever?"
No answer.
"Answer me, please."
"No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't."
"You're AFRAID... you haven't?"
"No, sir."
"Yet you still believe in him?"
"...yes..."
"That takes FAITH!"
The professor smiles sagely at the underling. "According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son? Where is your God now?"
The student doesn't answer.
"Sit down, please."
The Christian sits...Defeated.
Another Christian raises his hand. "Professor, may I address the class?"
The professor turns and smiles. "Ah, another Christian in the vanguard! Come, come, young man. Speak some proper wisdom to the gathering."
The Christian looks around the room. "Some interesting points you are making, sir. Now I've got a question for you. Is there such thing as heat?" "Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."
"Is there such a thing as cold?"
"Yes, son, there's cold too."
"No, sir, there isn't."
The professor's grin freezes. The room suddenly goes very cold. The second Christian continues. "You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold, otherwise we would be able to go colder than 458 - You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it."........Silence.
A pin drops somewhere in the classroom. "Is there such a thing as darkness, professor?"
"That's a dumb question, son. What is night if it isn't darkness? What are you getting at...?"
"So you say there IS such a thing as darkness?"
"Yes..."
"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something, it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly, you have nothing, and it's called darkness, isn't it?
That's the meaning we use to define the word.
In reality, Darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker and give me a jar of it. Can you...give me a jar of darker darkness, professor?"
Despite himself, the professor smiles at the young effrontery before him.
This will indeed be a good semester. "Would you mind telling us what your point is, young man?"
"Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with and so your conclusion must be in error...."
The professor goes toxic. "Flawed...? How dare you...!"
"Sir, may I explain what I mean?"
The class is all ears.
"Explain... oh, explain..." The professor makes an admirable effort to regain control. Suddenly he is affability itself.
He waves his hand to silence the class, for the student to continue.
"You are working on the premise of duality," the Christian explains.
"That for example there is life and then here's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science cannot even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism but has never seen, much less fully understood them. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, merely the absence of it."
The young man holds up a newspaper he takes from the desk of a neighbor who has been reading it.
"Here is one of the most disgusting tabloids this country hosts, professor. Is there such a thing as immorality?"
"Of course there is, now look..."
"Wrong again, sir. You see, immorality is merely the absence of morality. Is there such thing as injustice? No. Injustice is the absence of justice. Is there such a thing as evil?" The Christian pauses. "Isn't evil the absence of good?"
The professor's face has turned an alarming color. He is so angry he is temporarily speechless.
The Christian continues. "If there is evil in the world, professor, and we all agree there is, then God, if he exists, must be accomplishing a work through the agency of evil. What is that work, God is accomplishing? The Bible tells us it is to see if each one of us will, of our own free will, choose good over evil."
The professor bridles. "As a philosophical scientist, I don't vie this matter as having anything to do with any choice; as a realist, I absolutely do not recognize the concept of God or any other theological factor as being part of the world equation because God is not observable."
"I would have thought that the absence of God's moral code in this world is probably one of the most observable phenomena going," the Christian replies. "Newspapers make billions of dollars reporting it every week! Tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?"
"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do."
"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"
The professor makes a sucking sound with his teeth and gives his student a silent, stony stare.
"Professor. Since no-one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a priest?"
"I'll overlook your impudence in the light of our philosophical discussion.
Now, have you quite finished?" the professor hisses.
"So you don't accept God's moral code to do what is righteous?"
"I believe in what is - that's science!"
"Ahh! SCIENCE!" the student's face spits into a grin. "Sir, you rightly state that science is the study of observed phenomena. Science too is a premise which is flawed..."
"SCIENCE IS FLAWED..?" the professor splutters.
The class is in uproar. The Christian remains standing until the commotion has subsided. "To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, may I give you an example of what I mean?"
The professor wisely keeps silent.
The Christian looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?"
The class breaks out in laughter.
The Christian points towards his elderly, crumbling tutor. "Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain... felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain?"
No one appears to have done so.
The Christian shakes his head sadly.
"It appears no-one here has had any sensory perception of the professor's brain whatsoever.
Well, according to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says the professor has no brain." The class is in chaos.
The Christian sits... Because that is what a chair is for.
以下的是流傳已久的版本，通稱「基督教版本」，又稱「學生勝利版」。
中譯：
「信耶穌不合科學。」一個哲學教授上課時說。他頓了一頓，叫了一個新生站起來，說：「某某同學，你是基督徒嗎？」
「老師，我是。」
「那麼你一定信上帝了？」
「當然。」
「那上帝是不是善的？」
「當然。上帝是善的。」
「是不是上帝是全能的？祂無所不能，對嗎？」
「對。」
「你呢？你是善是惡？」
「聖經說我有罪。」
教授撇撇嘴笑：「哈，聖經。」頓了一頓，說：「如果班上有同學病了，你有能力醫治他，你會醫治他嗎？起碼試一試？」
「會。」
「那麼你便是善的了．．．」
「我不敢這麼說。」
「怎麼不敢？你見別人有難，便去幫助．．．我們大部分人都會這樣，只有上帝不幫忙。」
一片沉默。
「上帝不幫忙。對嗎？我的弟弟是基督徒，他患了癌症，懇求耶穌醫治，可是他死了。上帝是善的嗎？你怎麼解釋？」
沒有回答。
老教授同情他了，說：「你無法解釋。對吧？」 他拿起桌子上的杯，喝一口水，讓學生有機會喘一口氣。這是欲擒先縱之計策。 「我們再重新來討論。上帝是善的嗎？」
「呃．．．，是。」
「魔鬼是善是惡？」
「是惡。」
「那怎麼有魔鬼呢？」
學生不知道怎麼回答。「是．．．是．．．上帝造的。」
「對，魔鬼是上帝造的。對嗎？」老教授用瘦骨嶙峋的手梳梳稀薄的頭髮，對傻笑著的全體同學說： 「各位同學，相信這學期的哲學課很有興趣。」 回過頭來，又對站著的那同學說： 「世界可有惡的存在？」
「有。」
「世界充滿了惡。對吧？是不是世上所有一切，都是上帝造的？」
「是。」
「那麼惡是誰造的？」
沒有回答。
「世界有不道德的事嗎？有仇恨、醜陋等等一切的惡嗎？」
該學生顯得坐立不安，勉強回答：「有。」
「這些惡是怎麼來的？」
沒有答案。
忽然老教授提高聲調說：「你說，是誰造的？你說啊！誰造的？」他把臉湊到該學生面前，用輕而穩定的聲音說：「上帝造了這一切的惡。對吧？」
沒有回答。
該學生嘗試也直視教授，但終於垂下了眼皮。老教授忽然轉過身來，在班前踱來踱去，活像一隻老黑豹。同學們都進入被催眠狀態。
這時老教授又開腔了：「上帝造這一切的惡，而這些惡又不止息的存在，請問：上帝怎可能是善的？」教授不斷揮舞著他張開的雙手，說：「世界上充滿了仇恨、暴力、痛苦、死亡、困難、醜惡，這一切都是這位良善的上帝造的？對吧？」
沒有回答。
「世上豈不是充滿了災難？」停了一下，他又把臉湊到該新生面前，低聲說：「上帝是不是善的？」
沒有答話。
「你信耶穌基督嗎？」他再問。
該學生用顫抖的聲音說：「老師，我信。」
老教授失望地搖了搖頭，說：「根據科學，我們對周圍事物的觀察和了解，是用五官。請問這位同學，你見過耶穌沒有？」
「沒有。老師，我沒見過。」
「那麼，你聽過祂的聲音嗎？」
「我沒有聽過祂的聲音。」
「你摸過耶穌沒有？可有嚐過他？嗅過他？你有沒有用五官來感覺過上帝？」
沒有回答。
「請回答我的問題。」
「老師，我想沒有。」
「你想沒有嗎？還是實在沒有？」
「我沒有用五官來接觸過上帝。」
「可是你仍信上帝？」
「呃．．．是．．．」
老教授陰陰地笑了：「那真需要信心啊！科學上強調的，是求證，實驗，和示範等方法，根據這些方法，你的上帝是不存在的。對不對？你以為怎樣？你的上帝在哪裡？」
學生答不上來。
「請坐下。」
該同學坐下，心中有說不出的沮喪。
這時，另一個同學舉起手來，問：「老師，我可以發言嗎？」
老教授笑說：「當然可以。」
學生說：「老師，世界上有沒有熱？」
教授答：「當然有。」
「那麼，也有冷嗎？」
「也有冷。」
「老師，您錯了。冷是不存在的。」
老教授的臉僵住了。課室裡的空氣頓時凝結。
這位大膽的同學說：「熱是一種能，可以量度。我們有很熱、加熱、超熱、大熱、白熱、稍熱、不熱，卻沒有冷──當然，氣溫可以下降至零下四百五十八度，即一點熱也沒有，但這就到了極限，不能再降溫下去。冷不是一種能量。如果是，我們就可以不斷降溫，直降到超出零下四百五十八度以下，可是我們不能。『冷』只是用來形容無熱狀態的字眼。我們無法量『冷』度，我們是用溫度計。冷不是一種與熱對立的存在的能，而是一種無熱狀態。」
課室內靜得連一根針掉在地上也能聽到。
「老師，」該學生竟又問：「世上有沒有黑暗？」
「簡直是胡混。如果沒有黑暗，怎可能有黑夜？你想問甚麼．．．？」
「老師，您說世上有黑暗嗎？」
「對．．．」
「老師，那麼你又錯啦！黑暗是不存在的，它只是無光狀態。 光可分微光、亮光、強光、閃光，黑暗本身是不存在的，它只是用來描述無光狀態 的字眼。如果有黑暗，你就可以增加黑暗，或者給我一瓶黑暗。老師，你能否給我一瓶黑暗？」
教授見這小子大言不慚，滔滔不絕，不覺笑了。這學期倒真有趣。「這位同學，你到底想說甚麼呀？」
學生說：「老師，我是說，你哲學的大前提，從一開始就錯了，所以結論也錯了。」
「錯了．．．？好大的膽子！」老教授生氣了。
「老師，請聽我解釋。」全體同學竊竊私語。
「解釋．．．噫，．．．解釋．．．」教授好不容易才控制住自己，待情緒漸漸平伏後，即使個手勢，叫同學們安靜。讓該同學發言。
學生說：「老師，您剛才所說的，是二元論哩。就是說，有生，就必有死。有一個好的神，也有一個惡的神。你討論上帝時，所採用的，是一個受限制的觀點。你把上帝看作一件物質般來量度，但是科學連一個『思維』，也解釋不了。科學用電力，又用磁力，可是卻看不見電，看不見磁力，當然，對兩者也不透徹了解。把死看作和生命對立，是對死的無知。死不是可以獨立存在的。死亡不是生命的反面，而是失去了生命。」說著，他從鄰坐同學的桌子內，取出一份小報來，說：「這是我們國內最下流的一份小報，是不是有不道德這回事呢？」
「當然有不道德．．．」
「老師，你又錯了。不道德其實是缺德。是否有所謂『不公平』呢？沒有，『不公平』只是失去了公平。是否有所謂『惡』呢？」學生頓了一頓，又繼續說：「惡豈不是 失去善的狀態嗎？」 老教授氣得臉色通紅，不能說話。
該學生又說： 「老師，就是因為我們可以為善，也可以為不善，所以才有選擇的自由呢。」
教授不屑一顧： 「作為一個教授，我看重的是事實。上帝是無法觀察的。」
「老師，你信進化論嗎？」
「當然信。」
「那麼你可曾親眼觀察過進化的過程？」
教授瞪瞪該位同學。
「老師，既然沒有人觀察過進化過程，同時也不能證實所有動物都還在進化之中，那麼你們教進化論，不等於在宣傳你們的主觀信念嗎？」
「你說完了沒有？」老教授已不耐煩了。
「老師，你信上帝的道德律嗎？」
「我只信科學。」
「呀，科學！」學生說。「老師，你說的不錯，科學要求觀察，不然就不信。但你知道這大前提本身就錯誤嗎？」
「科學也會錯嗎。」
同學們全體嘩然。
待大家安靜下來後，該同學說：「老師，請恕我舉一個例子。我們班上誰看過老師的腦子？」同學們個個大笑起來。
該同學又說：「我們誰聽過老師的腦子，誰摸過、嚐過，或聞過老師的腦子？」
沒人有這種經驗。
學生說：「那麼我們能否說老師沒．．．？」
全班哄堂大笑。
原文版本：
"LET ME EXPLAIN THE problem science has with Jesus Christ." The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand. "You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"
"Yes, sir."
"So you believe in God?"
"Absolutely."
"Is God good?"
"Sure! God's good."
"Yes."
"Are you good or evil?"
"The Bible says I'm evil."
The professor grins knowingly. "Ahh! THE BIBLE!" He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here, and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help them? Would you try?"
"Yes sir, I would."
"So you're good...!"
"I wouldn't say that."
"Why not say that? You would help a sick and maimed person if you could.........in fact most of us would if we could... God doesn't."
No answer.
"He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm?
Can you answer that one?"
No answer.
The elderly man is sympathetic. "No, you can't, can you?" He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. In philosophy, you have to go easy with the new ones. "Let's start again, young man."
"Er... Yes."
"Is Satan good?"
"No."
"Where does Satan come from?"
The student falters. "From...God..."
"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he?" The elderly man runs his bony fingers through his thinning hair and turns to the smirking, student audience. "I think we're going to have a lot of fun this semester, ladies and gentlemen." He turns back to the Christian. "Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"
"Yes, sir."
"Evil's everywhere, isn't it? Did God make everything?"
"Who created evil?"
No answer.
"Is there sickness in this world? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All the terrible things - do they exist in this world?"
The student squirms on his feet. "Yes."
"Who created them?"
No answer.
The professor suddenly shouts at his student. "WHO CREATED THEM? TELL ME, PLEASE!" The professor closes in for the kill and climb into the Christian's face.
In a still small voice: "God created all evil, didn't He, son?"
No answer. The student tries to hold the steady, experienced gaze and fails. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace the front of the classroom like an aging panther. The class is mesmerized. "Tell me," he continues, "How is it that this God is good if He created all evil throughout all time?" The professor swishes his arms around to encompass the wickedness of the world. "All the hatred, the brutality, all the pain, all the torture, all the death and ugliness and all the suffering created by this good God is all over the world, isn't it, young man?"
No answer.
"Don't you see it all over the place? Huh?"
Pause. "Don't you?"
The professor leans into the student's face again and whispers, "Is God good?"
No answer.
"Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"
The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor. I do."
The old man shakes his head sadly. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen your Jesus?"
"No, sir. I've never seen Him."
"Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"
"No, sir. I have not."
"Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus...
In fact, do you have any sensory perception of your God whatsoever?"
No answer.
"Answer me, please."
"No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't."
"You're AFRAID... you haven't?"
"No, sir."
"Yet you still believe in him?"
"...yes..."
"That takes FAITH!"
The professor smiles sagely at the underling. "According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son? Where is your God now?"
The student doesn't answer.
"Sit down, please."
The Christian sits...Defeated.
Another Christian raises his hand. "Professor, may I address the class?"
The professor turns and smiles. "Ah, another Christian in the vanguard! Come, come, young man. Speak some proper wisdom to the gathering."
The Christian looks around the room. "Some interesting points you are making, sir. Now I've got a question for you. Is there such thing as heat?" "Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."
"Is there such a thing as cold?"
"Yes, son, there's cold too."
"No, sir, there isn't."
The professor's grin freezes. The room suddenly goes very cold. The second Christian continues. "You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold, otherwise we would be able to go colder than 458 - You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it."........Silence.
A pin drops somewhere in the classroom. "Is there such a thing as darkness, professor?"
"That's a dumb question, son. What is night if it isn't darkness? What are you getting at...?"
"So you say there IS such a thing as darkness?"
"Yes..."
"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something, it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly, you have nothing, and it's called darkness, isn't it?
That's the meaning we use to define the word.
In reality, Darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker and give me a jar of it. Can you...give me a jar of darker darkness, professor?"
Despite himself, the professor smiles at the young effrontery before him.
This will indeed be a good semester. "Would you mind telling us what your point is, young man?"
"Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with and so your conclusion must be in error...."
The professor goes toxic. "Flawed...? How dare you...!"
"Sir, may I explain what I mean?"
The class is all ears.
"Explain... oh, explain..." The professor makes an admirable effort to regain control. Suddenly he is affability itself.
He waves his hand to silence the class, for the student to continue.
"You are working on the premise of duality," the Christian explains.
"That for example there is life and then here's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science cannot even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism but has never seen, much less fully understood them. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, merely the absence of it."
The young man holds up a newspaper he takes from the desk of a neighbor who has been reading it.
"Here is one of the most disgusting tabloids this country hosts, professor. Is there such a thing as immorality?"
"Of course there is, now look..."
"Wrong again, sir. You see, immorality is merely the absence of morality. Is there such thing as injustice? No. Injustice is the absence of justice. Is there such a thing as evil?" The Christian pauses. "Isn't evil the absence of good?"
The professor's face has turned an alarming color. He is so angry he is temporarily speechless.
The Christian continues. "If there is evil in the world, professor, and we all agree there is, then God, if he exists, must be accomplishing a work through the agency of evil. What is that work, God is accomplishing? The Bible tells us it is to see if each one of us will, of our own free will, choose good over evil."
The professor bridles. "As a philosophical scientist, I don't vie this matter as having anything to do with any choice; as a realist, I absolutely do not recognize the concept of God or any other theological factor as being part of the world equation because God is not observable."
"I would have thought that the absence of God's moral code in this world is probably one of the most observable phenomena going," the Christian replies. "Newspapers make billions of dollars reporting it every week! Tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?"
"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do."
"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"
The professor makes a sucking sound with his teeth and gives his student a silent, stony stare.
"Professor. Since no-one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a priest?"
"I'll overlook your impudence in the light of our philosophical discussion.
Now, have you quite finished?" the professor hisses.
"So you don't accept God's moral code to do what is righteous?"
"I believe in what is - that's science!"
"Ahh! SCIENCE!" the student's face spits into a grin. "Sir, you rightly state that science is the study of observed phenomena. Science too is a premise which is flawed..."
"SCIENCE IS FLAWED..?" the professor splutters.
The class is in uproar. The Christian remains standing until the commotion has subsided. "To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, may I give you an example of what I mean?"
The professor wisely keeps silent.
The Christian looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?"
The class breaks out in laughter.
The Christian points towards his elderly, crumbling tutor. "Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain... felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain?"
No one appears to have done so.
The Christian shakes his head sadly.
"It appears no-one here has had any sensory perception of the professor's brain whatsoever.
Well, according to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says the professor has no brain." The class is in chaos.
The Christian sits... Because that is what a chair is for.
